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Yoda at McDonalds (YodaJeff.com)

Yoda at McDonalds


CUSTOMER 1: "How's that Big Mac?"
CUSTOMER 2: "Fine."
CUSTOMER 1: "Hey! Who's that over there?"
CUSTOMER 2: "Yoda."
CUSTOMER 1: "What?!"
CUSTOMER 2: "Yeah, he comes in here all the time..."
CLERK: "Oh, hello, Master Yoda! Can I take your order?"
YODA: "Ooooohhhh. Clerk you are, yes?"
CLERK: "Um... Yes, sir."
YODA: "Heh, heh, heh... Minimum wage... Ha, ha, ha..."
CLERK: "If you'd like to spend some more time looking at the menu, I can take the next person behind y--glerk!" [Yoda grabs his collar]
YODA: "You have no patience. A Jedi must have patience..."
CLERK: [Croaking] "I'm sure... Could you let go of my collar?... Thank you."
YODA: "Order I will. Take it will you..."
CLERK: "Okay. Okay. What will you have?"
YODA: "Extra Value Meal! Hee, hee! Oooohhh, Super Size Fries..."
CLERK: "And what to drink?"
YODA: "Pepsi."
CLERK: "Uh--We don't have Pepsi."
YODA: "Pepsi, or Diet Pepsi... There is no Coke."
CLERK: "Um... Um... I'm really, sorry... Would you like Dr. Pepper?"
YODA: "Hmmm. Yes. It will do."
CLERK: "Can I interest you in an apple pie or swirl cone?"
YODA: "Apple pie. Swirl Cone. A Jedi desires not these things."
CLERK: "Okay. That'll be Three Thirty-fi..."
YODA: "Wait! Wait! What is that?!"
CLERK: "Um, the new Happy Meal..."
YODA: "Happy Meal! Happy Meal will I have! New toy surprise has it! Yes! Yes! Happy Meal will I have!"
CLERK: "Hamburger or Chicken McNuggets?"
YODA: "Hmmm... McNuggets, yesss..."
CLERK: "Okay... That'll be Three Fifteen."
YODA: [Using the Jedi "mind alter"] "You don't need my money."
CLERK: [Hyp-mo-tized] "I have no need for your money."
YODA: "Always welcome here, am I."
CLERK: "You are always welcome here, Master Yoda..."
YODA: "Have I will, a nice day."
CLERK: "Have a nice day, Master Yoda."
YODA: "Thank you. Heh, heh, heh..."
[Yoda walks to his table]
LUKE: "Are you sure you can use the Force like that, Master Yoda?"
YODA: "Much have you to learn about the ways of the Force, Young Skywalker... Hee, hee. Pass the salt... Hee, hee..."
[FADE OUT]
 
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